Ben Franklin: Inventor

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Ah, Ben Franklin … wrote many books and
invented many things which we still use today. Bifocals, of course, a wonderful invention
by Ben Franklin: This is how you look at stuff far away; and this is how you look at stuff
close up! Wacka-wacka! You know what Ben Franklin said? He said, “Hey, look! I’ve invented the stove.” I invented some kind of stove. Well, I invented a popcycle made of Mountain
Dew! Sweet! Well, I strove to build a stove to warm up
small aprtments. It made great heat, and your next feat was
inventing a fire department! Ben published, and even appeared, in the first
“Hale and Vigorous Male Forms of the Union Fire Company Calendar”. The lightning rod was invented by Dr. Benjamin
Franklin. With Ben’s new device attached to the roof, the electricity traveled down a copper wire
into the ground. Hello! I also helped establish institutions like
a fire company, a hospital, and an insurance company. Wroking to forge a new nation was only one
of Franklin’s contributions to mankind. He was also the inventor of the self-cleaning
oven, the double beer can helmet, PopTarts, Just for Men beard coloring gel, that singing
fish you hang on a wall, that plastic thing that protects pizza from the top of the box,
the Starbucks heat sleeve, and edible, self-heating body mousse. We’ll be back after these messages. Your fair city thanks you, as does the nation
and the world! And today, you become the first American to
receive the coveted medal from the Royal Society of London. And so, once again, the day is saved, thanks
to Benjamin Franklin’s suggestion of setting clocks back during the winter for extra daylight
to conserve economic spending on candles!

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